THE ELDERLY GENTLEMAN
THE PINK ’UN
THE SPOKEN WORD
THE WRITTEN WORD
19th of October 2022
Dear Reader,
This morning...
I bought a copy of today’s Financial Times.
I had never bought a copy of the Financial Times before in my life.
I then read the editorial page over a mug of coffee in a café that I had never been to before in my life.
I then walked home with the Financial Times rolled up under my arm.
I then folded the Financial Times into a paper hat.
I then tried the paper hat on for size.
I then placed paper hat on a tin of Flamingo Pink paint...
The tin of Flamingo Pink Paint that I took to Corby last week to paint The WE LOVE YOU Wall.
I liked the look of the tin of Flamingo Pink paint wearing the paper hat made from today’s Financial Times.
So...
I then took a photograph of the tin of Flamingo Pink paint wearing the paper hat.
I then stopped doing anything.
I then wondered...
I then stopped wondering.
I then filled the paper hat with all the names of all the people who in the past seven days have asked me to put their name in a hat.
There were one-hundred-and-ninety-six names in the paper hat.
I then went out into the street, with the paper hat containing all the names.
I then placed the paper hat containing all the names on the top of a drain.
I like drains.
I then took a photograph of the paper hat containing all the names, while it sat on the top of the drain.
I liked doing these things.
This afternoon...
I drew the first seventy names out of the hat.
These seventy names are the names of those people who might write one thousand words of my memoir in exchange for a year of my life.
I then drew a second seventy names from the hat.
These second seventy names are the names of those people who might write about my dark subconsciousness in exchange for a vial of water from the Black Loch.
The remaining fifty-six names might be invited to write about recurring disturbing dreams.
Tomorrow...
I will email all of those whose names were in the hat, letting them know what is what.
I then put the kettle on and made a pot of tea.
And while drinking the tea, I wondered why the apostrophe in The Pink ’Un goes before the U and not after the N.
Then I wrote this letter to you.
Yours Sincerely,
The Elderly Gentleman
